Let's Open Your Neural Floodgates.
Posted on: May 10th, 2015 by Lewis Mindenhall No Comments

Having a bad day??. We feel your pain.

By Lewis Mindenhall

Sometimes life can feel like a complete waste of time and energy, after all we are living in a meaningless existence with absolutely no hope for redemption. We were all doomed the day we were born and life can feel like a Sisyphean struggle to try and smile through adversary and strife. The world is ordered by a privileged few yet populated by an ignorant class of people oblivious to anything that doesn’t conform to there own blinkered view on a mediocre way of living.

Yet despite all this pain and sorrow some of us chose to try and get through anything fate has to throw up and find another way around the crater of doom and look for an alternative solution to the problem of existence. And we all know that humour is the best medicine when things are stressful an intolerable, so we at Grindhouse Therapy have decided to try and lighten the situation by finding some amusing and enlightening stuff for your enjoyment and pleasure.

 

It all starts in childhood. According to the godfather of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud childhood is a time of fear, trepidation and a completely  traumatic experience which is the main reason for adult neurosis. But fear not fellow sufferers we have you covered. If Childhood trauma is still getting you down then let us at the clinic vanquish those demons into a bloody pulp of guey puss and evil waste.

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Looking for Love. Trying to find someone special in your life can be an absolute disaster for some men. What can a single person do to make themselves “available” without looking desperate is a fine art and takes practice and dedication. But fear not people, next time you find yourself grumbling while browsing all the dating and social networking websites that are available nowadays, think about the lost souls back in the 80’s that only had poor quality videotapes as a means of trying to find a date?.

 

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The effect of mixing drugs and music. In the beginning there was Jack, and Jack had a groove, and from this groove came the groove of all groove’s. And while one day viciously throwing down his box Jack boldly declared…’Let there be House!’. And House music was born…! (Mr Fingers- Can you feel it. 1986).

A rabbit running through the forest stumbles upon a deer rolling a joint. The rabbit says “Don’t do that. Come running with me, it’s much more fun!”. So the deer takes off with the rabbit.

They soon come across an elephant doing coke. “Come running with us, elephant” says the rabbit. “You will feel so good!”. The elephant decides to join the fun. The animals then encounter a lion about to shoot up. But before the rabbit can say anything, the lion knocks him unconscious.

The deer screams, “Lion, what are you doing?, he is trying to help us!”. The lion answers ” That fucker makes me run around the forest like an idiot every time he takes Ecstasy!”.

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Album coming soon. x

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Be prepared to defend yourself at all times. Life is tough and challenging at the best of times, what with the world on the brink of some kind of atomic zombie apocalypse, so the need to defend oneself from the onslaught of foreign invaders and potential pillagers is crucial to the stability of our superior culture. Western civilisation has learnt a lot from the ancient art of Oriental Kung Fu practice. In just a few decades Western man has managed to combine the techniques of martial arts, and do so without the need of strenuous effort and dedication to  somehow combine it with a vast quantity of alcohol into a beautiful hybrid of super human strength and agility that requires no ability of the mind and need of sporting talent whatsoever (other than to make out to people that you are a devotional football fan and can explain the off side rule in an indecipherable cacophony of verbal abuse). Yes we have come along way in such a small space of time and soon the whole world will be reaping the benefits of our over indulgent and sedentary lifestyles.

Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. In 1977 business magnate, devoted philanthropist, software pioneer and the world’s richest man Bill Gates was arrested for the terrible crime of a minor traffic violation. And with a previous arrest in 1975 for speeding and driving without a licence already under his belt the police were delighted with this offending criminals impending fate at the hands of the American criminal justice system. It’s nice to see though that he still manages to find the whole situation extremely humorous and delightful, and also lucky to have the money for bail in his already fat wallet. We Love you Bill. x

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On the set of The Shining. Stanley Kubrick looks on the funny side at the aftermath of the fire that burned down sound stage 3 on part of the set of The Shining at EMI-Elstree Studio’s in London on a freezing day in february 1979. The blaze ironically echoed the ending of the film and Kubrick’s jostling for space at the studio with the filming of The Empire Strikes back and Flash Gordon.

1980, USA --- American director and producer Stanley Kubrick on the set of his film, . --- Image by © Murray Close/Sygma/Corbis

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Lesson in Life. A wise man sat in the audience and cracked a joke. Everybody laughs like crazy. After a moment, he cracks the same joke again. This time less people laughed. He then cracks the same joke over and over again. When there is no laughter in the crowd he then smiles and say’s “You can’t laugh at the same joke again and again, but why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again”??. Mwhahahah!, now heres a couple of cats doing some funny things:-

Crazy fool thinks he can fly.

Humpty Dumpty can’t reach.

This dude thinks he has found some kind of portal into another universe.